In the modern world, dating apps are very much part of the fabric of our everyday lives. As someone in a committed relationship, I love nothing more than hearing all about the single exploits of my friends and living through their stories. Particularly in London, finding the one – or even one that you don’t hate – can be a difficult and exhausting pastime. In fact, one of my best friends has no less than NINE dating apps on his phone. That’s Tinder, Grindr, Scruff, Bumble, Happn, Jack’d, Hornet, OkCupid AND Surge.
From taking the right picture to writing the perfect description, curating a dating profile is a minefield, and using it is a whole other kettle of fish. With this in mind, spoke to some gay guys about their ultimate turn-offs on dating apps in a bid to help more people find love at first swipe.
I really hate it when people describe themselves as ‘masc’, ‘normal’ or ‘average’, and tell others that they should be that way if they want to speak to them. In terms of pictures, personally I don’t like it when people pose with captive animals. I also find it pretty disrespectful when people pose next to memorials, the holocaust memorial in Germany seems to be a particularly popular choice!
It’s hard to describe, but I find that often guys act as if you owe them something. It’s implied in some sort of way that putting across a non-sexual image of yourself is a faux pas on your behalf. I’m aware that Grindr isn’t Facebook, but I shouldn’t be shamed for not wanting to show more than I’m comfortable with.
This is such a Bree Van De Kamp thing to say but a messy room in the background of selfies is a bit of a turn off. Messy room = messy mind! Also, I don’t mind exchanging nude pictures once we’ve got to know each other but sending images of your dick or asshole as a hello really isn’t my thing.
Stick to words to describe yourself as too many emojis give me a headache. Also, I really don’t need to know what vegetable your penis resembles before I’ve even spoken to you.
Call me old fashioned, but I don’t like it when people are either swearing in their picture or swear a lot in their bio. I also don’t like who put others down, or say ‘don’t ask for pics’, because it seems a bit arrogant to assume that everyone wants to see your pictures.
Bad grammar or punctuation is always a deal-breaker. I write for a living, so I’m not trying to be snobby when I say that if you don’t know how to use your/you’re then it’s unlikely we’re going to end up together. I find it a bit negative when people describe traits in others they aren’t attracted to as opposed to saying what they are looking for.
Not to get too deep, but as one of my parents has had issues with alcohol in the past, it really turns me off when people list drinking as their main character trait or thing that they like to do.
We all take selfies sometimes, but it turns me off a bit when every single one of his pictures is a selfie. Where are all your friends? Aren’t you ever out having fun?! An overly long description is also a bore.
I know this makes me sound like an awful person, but it really urks me when people have professional headshots in their photos. It’s a bit narcissistic, isn’t it?
People who have a blank Grindr profile but then say they don’t respond to blank profiles. I want to sit down with them and explain what little sense this makes!
Follow Louis on Twitter @LouisStaples